Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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