if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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