Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
