Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
