i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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