i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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