the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
