hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
