im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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