do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
