White coat. Heels.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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