hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Do vagina's smell?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
3 2 1 whiskey
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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