Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
