this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize