the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
