I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
