...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
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i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
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This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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