If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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