do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
