Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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