dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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