sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Every concussion has its silver lining
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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