I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
