I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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