been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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