Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i was born a porn star she said
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
