the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
