Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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