no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
