barbara walters just said penis...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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