I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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