Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize