Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
