I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
babies were throwing up all over the place
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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