I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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