We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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