His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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