my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
