It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
