I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
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There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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