booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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