Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.