If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
