i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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