i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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