Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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