WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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