wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have aggressive nipples.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
