don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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