I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
