did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize