i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
