Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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