at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize