ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
