Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just puked most of my soul out..
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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