Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
