Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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