it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
