He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
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I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
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My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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