maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
When did angry sex become our thing?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
