Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
