when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
