Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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